“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
Thomas Merton
What is love?
We like to think that a great love is the place where two people are able to intimately connect with their heart, soul, mind, and intention.
Think of the Heart as the center of your emotions. It’s how you feel about things. Your heart is intuitive and has a self-knowledge that speaks outside of rational thought. When two people connect in the heart they are able to understand what their partner is feeling.
Think of your Soul as your true self. The place where your authentic, unfiltered person lives. It’s the real you. When two people connect in soul, they feel safe and free to just be themselves. There is nothing they have to withhold or hide from each other in order to remain close.
Think of your Mind as your thoughts, opinions, and ideas. How you see the world, what you dream about doing, your political stance, the way you view others, and the silly insignificant things that fill your head and make up who you are. When two people connect in mind, they see, understand, and validate each other’s thoughts.
Think of your Intention as the place where you choose to love. You’re not doing it because you feel like you’re supposed to, or will be a bad person if you don’t. It’s where you love freely because you want to. It’s also where you stand your ground, hold firm to your convictions, and demand the kind of epic love you really want. When two people connect in intention, they have a similar understanding of what they want to get and give in a relationship, and what it will take to have those things.
Learning to nurture each of these areas in your relationships will help you to grow closer and more connected with your loved ones.